


The Great Debate

by RedFox13



Category: Dark Souls (Video Games), Dark Souls I
Genre: Comedy, Funny, Gen, Multi, One Shot, Rubbish ahead, Shenanigans, Short Story, Swearing, excessive caffeine consumption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:07:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26241640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedFox13/pseuds/RedFox13
Summary: Coffee or Tea? Which do you prefer?
Relationships: Lord Gwyn's Firstborn/Dragon Slayer Ornstein
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	The Great Debate

"I don't understand how you're able to drink that swill." Ornstein scoffed as he sipped on his cup of ginger tea. "And what you're drinking is any better?" Artorias rolled his eyes as he poured a splash of milk into his coffee. "Tea is far healthier for you, and doesn't make you jittery." The lion knight countered. "Tea is nothing more than hot leaf juice!" Artorias fired back.

"How can a member of my own family say something so horrible?!!" Ornstein gasped indignantly. A booming laugh came from over near the dining hall door, Farram and Gwyndolin entered together. The war god had a beaming smile on his face as his younger brother spoke in a hushed tone. Gwyndolin quickly covered his mouth with one of his pale, dainty, hands to hide his giggling. "I bet he'll think twice before doing that again." Farram said as he patted Gwyndolin gently on his back. His golden eyes lit up as he spied his knight sitting at the table. Bending down he whispered into Gwyndolin's ear causing him to smile widely and nod his head. Together they walked to the table where the Knights of Gwyn sat and took up a place on either side of Ornstein.

The lion knight's face blushed pink as he felt his Lord gently take his hand under the table. "What's got you riled up this morning?" He asked quietly so only the others at the table heard. "This night owl thinks coffee is better than tea!" Ornstein sighed as he jerked a thumb in Artorias's direction. "Excuse me, but I'm a nyctophylliac, not a night owl." The wolf knight said as he sipped his drink. "And coffee is better." He added.

"What's the difference?" Ornstein sighed. "A nyctophylliac is one who loves the night. A night owl is one who stays up all night, like you." Ciaran piped up from the other side of Artorias. "I'm an insomniac, I have trouble falling asleep." Ornstein said with a scowl. "That's not the case when I'm around." Farram mumbled in a teasing tone. He grunted as Ornstein jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow. A moment later a servant passed by with plates and drinks for Farram and Gwyndolin.

The conversation lulled for a moment as everyone ate, but then Ornstein spoke up again. "My Lord, what do you prefer? Coffee or tea?" Farram gave a thoughtful glance to his knight as he scratched his chin. "Well, I can't really take a side on this one because I drink both." He gave an innocent smile to counter Ornstein's disapproving frown. "What about you Gwyndolin, what do you drink?" Farram asked as he looked over at his brother. Gwyndolin politely wiped his mouth with his napkin before replying, "I'm afraid I only drink herbal teas, sometimes chai. Too much caffeine makes me jittery and gives me headaches."

"Herbal tea is still tea though, isn't it?" Artorias asked. "Yes and no, it's tea but not real tea." Ornstein answered. "What do you drink Ciaran? All I ever see you drink is water and juice, sometimes wine." Artorias asked as he looked down at the assassin sitting next to him. "It is forbidden for the Lord's Blades to consume caffeine in any form as it affects our state of awareness." Ciaran replied flatly.

"What about you Gough? You always have a warm drink in the morning." Ornstein said as he looked at the giant archer sitting at the end of the table. "I drink hot chocolate with marshmallows. It's like a warm hug in a cup and it makes a bad day better." Gough rumbled. Everyone at the table stopped and looked at him with a dumbfounded expression. "You know I think you're on to something." Farram said with a grin.

Just then all stood at attention as Lord Gwyn entered the dining hall. With a wave of his hand everyone sat down again and the murmur of conversations and clinking of utensils against plates filled the air. As he passed the Knights table he paused to greet his son. "Good morning, my boy! What trouble are you getting my knights into today?" He asked jokingly. "No trouble father, we were just discussing wether coffee or tea is the better drink." Farram replied as he took a sip from his cup.

At this Lord Gwyn stroked his beard with an amused smile. "Personally I prefer Earl Grey tea, it helps me maintain a youthful complexion." Farram hummed in surprise as he made a serious effort not to spit his drink out. With a hearty chuckle Lord Gwyn turned and walked towards his table. "Earl Grey? Not even my finest glamours could fix that mess." Gwyndolin said flatly. This made Ornstein burst into a fit of laughter, high pitched and shrill. A few of the Silver Knights turned their heads to see who it was, but by then Ornstein had clamped a hand over his mouth.

To think the stoic and serious knight captain would ever laugh was a ridiculous notion. "Awww! Your laugh is adorable!" Artorias grinned ear to ear as he started gushing from the cuteness. "Shut...the...fuck...up!!!" Ornstein growled as he repeatedly kicked the wolf knight's shin under the table. "Language Sir Ornstein!" Gwyndolin gently chided. "Forgive me, my Lord." Ornstein bowed his head in apology.

...............................

Day had turned to night and the residents of Anor Londo were mostly in bed asleep. For Ornstein it was going to be another all nighter signing paperwork and writing reports. Not long after sunset he began yawning constantly, it was time for a pick me up. Venturing down to the kitchen he was dismayed to learn that he was all out of his ginger tea. As his eyes wandered the shelves in the pantry he spied a bag of freshly ground coffee. "Well, it's this or falling asleep at my desk again." As he picked up the bag he spied the wolf knight's name scrawled in ink on the side. "He won't care if I get just a little. He'll never even know."

Brewing a pot on the stove and returning the bag to the pantry he placed the pot of coffee on a tray with some milk and sugar before returning to his office. Setting the tray on his desk he mixed a cup just like he saw Artorias do that morning. The first sip made him raise his eyebrows in surprise, it wasn't that bad.

He sipped on several cups throughout the night, and by the time the first rays of dawn crept over the mountains he had finished all his work. And not only was he not tired, but he felt more awake, alert, and energetic than he had in ages. Slipping on his helmet he left his office and set out for the training yard, he would be doing morning exercises with the new recruits before breakfast.

...................

Farram arrived at the training yard to meet Ornstein before breakfast and was met with a strange sight. The recruits who should've been practice sparring were all on the ground red faced, sweating profusely, and gasping for breath. Bishop Havel stood nearby cursing furiously. "Damn it Ornstein! I said take them for a jog around the block, not a fucking marathon!!" Havel barked. "That's what I did." Ornstein replied cooly as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"You were sprinting like a lunatic with his balls on fire!! How you didn't kill any of the recruits is a miracle!!!" Havel threw his hands up over his head in exasperation. Turning to the knights laying on the ground he called out loudly. "Alright, you all go wash up. We meet in the archives in two hours, we will be studying the divine tales today." A collective groan came from the recruits as they drug themselves off the ground and trudged away.

Just then Havel spotted Farram and stomped over to him. "I hope you're here to get your house cat before I put my foot in his ass!!" Havel huffed as Ornstein bowed in greeting. Not daring to ask what had the Bishop so agitated he simply nodded his head and motioned for Ornstein to follow. Just outside the dining hall he stopped and asked his knight what happened. "I simply went for a jog along the walls with the recruits." Ornstein replied as shifted back and forth on his feet impatiently.

Farram's brows furrowed at this curious behavior. "Why are you acting so hyper this morning?" He asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. "It might be the coffee I had last night. They were out of tea." Ornstein answered. "How many cups did you drink?" Farram asked with concern in his voice. The lion knight began quietly counting on his fingers, when he went to his other hand Farram's eyes widened in surprise. "I'm not sure how much you had, but you're not drinking anymore, understand?" He asked.

"I don't plan on it. Besides, it wasn't that great anyway." Ornstein replied. At breakfast the knights gathered at their table. They chatted with each other like they usually did, but eventually they noticed that Ornstein wasn't eating. He didn't even bother to remove his helmet, Farram gently shook his shoulder and only got a light snore in response. "He's asleep?!! Why am I not surprised." Farram sighed. "Shall I take him to his room, my Lord?" Gough asked from the far end of the table.

"No, I'll take him. But you can get the door, please." Farram replied. As Gough opened the door to the dining hall Farram scooped his knight up in his arms and carried him off to tuck him into bed.


End file.
